Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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