Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
