Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
