How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
