We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Randomize
