sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
