i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
