Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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