I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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