i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Randomize
