its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Randomize
