Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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