help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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