I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
