If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
