I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
