that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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