I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Princesses don't give blow jobs
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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