He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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