Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
