Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
