I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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