State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
