not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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