that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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