3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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