we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
