I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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