I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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