Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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