I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
