He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Text me some of your sweat
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize