Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
