Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
please come you make the beer taste better
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
