i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
