I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
