I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you win again, gameday.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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