I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
