he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
