so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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