so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
