I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
MIDGETS
????
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
