just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
