I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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