Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
