I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
lets start a swedish sibling band together
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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