Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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