I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
