when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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