I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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