Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
