I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
time to smoke my breakfast
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
