You're completely useless in the revolution.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
