either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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