Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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