Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
