too bad you live with your parents still
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
What a dumb baby whore.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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